[:watashi;]

2009-07-24T14:04:00.003+08:00

i need to plan.

10 days left to submission of FYP.

by sat,
discussions of the documentation must be done.
mastering must be done.

over the weekend,
do individual report.
fulfill criteria of submission.

Mon,
meet Susanne for meeting.
Done with design of documentation.
Buy disc and materials for documentation.

Tue,
make necessary amendments.
Burn document into disc.

Wed,
send for printing!
either Friday/Saturday collect.

Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun
Do reports!!
__________________________________

Found theory teacher.
Do not know when to register and take exam.
Target: finish grade 8 Theory by 2010 March
Register month: November

Found flute teacher.
do not know how long to take exams and finish grade 8
Target: finish grade 8 practical by 2010 March
Register month: September/october

is that possible?????????????????????

And I HAVEN'T BUY FLUTE!

2009-07-19T23:52:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks to submission of FYP.
the closer it gets day by day, the more worried and nervous I am..

'Believe' & 'Creativity', I need both of you to get my work done....
tomorrow there's UT....
I haven't study yet.
Haven't finish composing..
How am i suppose to give it to her..

And i just realize i haven't eat dinner.....>.<

tmr presentation, die....

haven download all of the resources for ut...

gosh.....this is so terrible

2009-07-07T20:34:00.002+08:00

time is so tight..

gotta study for 2 UTs on Thurs and Fri.
do music composition for Radio play.
do post production for Voice by end of this week or next week.
do report and documentation by next next 2 weeks.
do post post production for Band after FYP ends.
prepare for aural defense.
study for other UTs coming up. on next Tues and Fri.

Do summary for scripts on UT3 of directing and performance.
homework for directing and performance.

can i don't sleep??

2009-06-23T08:55:00.003+08:00

I'm back to the same point again,
where motivation is quite blurred.....

I only know I need to do fyp stuff.
I wonder what is the "thing" that keeps my drawn out from going to school.
Is it facilitator? [maybe....]
Is it that I'm just plain lazy? [definitely some of it..]
Is it I'm late? [but if i had left earlier just now, i will only be a little late, better than never go ar]
But now is a little too late la...hahahah!

tomorrow I will definitely go school...
mayb i should go for practice today... since its sight reading...
i think i should not go for Thurs practice, so that i can use it for other work..

**
I have yet to decide for some things..
I have yet to deposit and get back my money...
I have yet to pay for spree 'cos delayed by deposit...
I have yet to continue browse my universities...
I have yet to test if my pro tools have plug-ins installed...

I realize from school website,

During any semester of enrollment at RP, any student who has been continuously absent from all classes for the first four (4) weeks of the semester, without a reason acceptable to the Program Chair, are liable to be dismissed from the Polytechnic.
During any semester of enrollment at RP, Student Pass holders are required to have a minimum attendance of 80% for all assigned daily-graded classes by the end of Week 16 for each semester. Any Student Pass holder who is unable to meet the minimum attendance requirement is liable to be dismissed from the Polytechnic.

its NOT 4 times of absent will lead to dismissal of module...
just have to get 80% attendance..

however, the grades,
The Daily Grades will constitute 40% to 60% of the final Module Grade (depending on the module) and the UT grades will account for the remaining portion of the Module Grade.

wake up girl...last year already.... 2nd last semester....
just go school and get a stupid grade...
starting from next wk, go for all lessons!!

2009-05-28T02:19:00.002+08:00

by this time..
everyone tt study in my school should be slping...

all except me...

why is this happening to me?
cuz i dunu how to do RJ...
how to write...
gosh...

it's been a busy and stressful week..
too much things going on..
i just hope i can survive till this week end.
or at least till end of fri...

and ..
I'm damn hungry now...
hais...

the life of a yr3, is so ke lian...

i've drop some tears to reflect on the stress and busy schedule..

but i realize all is worth it..

especially NYW..
its a rare chance, it would be stupid of me to give it up because of school work...
I'll carry on...

hopefully dark circles and eye bags will go away someday...

and i really miss baby chloe alot...

2009-05-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

long did i update my blog...

i need my life back ...

ever since school started..
with FYP project, with homework, and RJs back in my life...
I have never seen anywhere else besides, home, school, woodlands.
can't watch videos online as often as i used to..
can't slp late as i used to...
must wake up early for school..
and have to stay up late in school for meetings..
sometimes even skip meals, and forget to eat...

holidays coming, but it will not be feeling like holidays with the recordings, band camp, practices..
30may, i'm waiting for you to come...

and hopefully i'll get through tmr's audition for NYW..
pray hard*!!

when could i grad?
will my FYPs be successful?
will my GPA be enough for uni at UK?
will i be accepted in UK?
am i able to get my diploma for flute and grade 8 theory by nxt yr?
should i go SYO audition?
which uni should i choose?
when can i go explore machiu picchu?
when will i be able to learn driving??

hais...
life is getting hard...
it's so depressing that there's actually someone who commit suicide jus because of stress from FYP and school work...

lucky i'm still able to handle it ok..

2009-05-02T15:39:00.002+08:00

jia you!

only 4 more weeks of school to holiday!

3 more wks to see baby chloe!

3 wks to national youth winds audition!!!

1 more wk to finish script!

6 more wks to concert!

few more days to tune-in session

i can do it!

2009-04-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

arrgrghH!!!!

i need to rant now!!!!!

y u always use tt stupid words and tone to talk to me after i came back?

u don like me to talk to you when you just come back cuz u need to settle things.

SO DO I!

u always say things in a way of ordering me to do something.

and whn i say "don disturb me i'm doing homework!"

u would say "who ask you come home so late"

wa liao eh, i was in school doing fyp la!

u think i wanna come home late meh?!

don you know my school hours is much more longer than yours!

u'll feel tired thn i wont feel tired meh!

i hav so many things to do...

i was typing RJ halfway thn u interrupt me, u broke my ideas of writing my RJ!!

and now i'm so angry that i cant focus!!!!!!!

i hav msn conference on the other hand, discussing abt directing & performance class,

so i have much more things to do than you!

and luckily huizhi's mum send me home, if not i'm home later!

i havent even tell you "don lock the wooden door b4 i come home!"

every time i have to tke the trouble to unlock it. and u come and tell me abt the switching off the stupid light whn i come home?!

you always come home and stay in the living room to do ur work, so whn would i noe u don wanna do your work already???!!!!!!

even if i see u are in ur room, tt doesn't giv me enough info that u're not using the living room already??!

get lost la!

don disturb me.!

and pls do use the correct tone and words plus attitude to speak to me!

i'm ur sister, not some1 else...

u always take things for granted!

u need a favor thn u speak nicely, why cant u do tt everytime!

wads wrong with you always having attitude problem!!!!

arrrghghhh!!!

shit you ()_(*&^%$#T@!$@%^UI$#@!$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired today...
it was fun ytd la, went to fix my flute & went to maks' house again.

chloe is so bad!!!
she "merlion" on me abt 2 times. I carry her she will sure "merlion" de...
"merlion" means vomit milk.
either the milk is cold for her or can't digest due to some activities etc.

anw, we went ikea & giant buy things for their house.
yunqi, zihui and me, chat all nite..
till 6 plus..
complain abt this person, tt person..haha!

slp till abt 12 plus, thn saw yiyi at living room, play with her...
so cute la, she keep smiling..
today she swim...in the kitchen,
there's a small inflated small swimming pool, thn she got float..
so cute!
but i guess she still need some time to know how to play water again, jus like when she was in mother's womb.

today damn tired, rush here and there,
cab here n there...
how i wish i would faster take driving tests n get a car...

i've got the blessing tt i've requested.
but contest wasn't gd..
4got the lyrics, cant hit my notes, worst of all,
i've nvr been so bad...
i think is b'cuz i nvr eat enough for the day n nvr slp enough for the day..
I guess god is trying to tell me, singing is jus my leisure....

moving on~

2009-04-07T01:34:00.003+08:00

recently I'm having "sleeping disorder"..
when my day starts about people's night time, and my night starts about people's day time.

my worst case was few days ago...
sleep at 7am when the small birds outside were chirping early for food...
woke up at 7pm when the small birds were chirping again..but preparing to rest for the day.
I've been wondering, it would be great if I were to push my plans early to study overseas, so that I would feel better with the difference of hours...
By then, my sleeping disorders would be off, i guess...

hmm..
I've been seeing quite some black ants around my house...
it used to be red ants...
but seems that the red ants have shifted and the black ants are coming to stay...
wow.
i started seeing them in the bathrooms.
n just a few mins ago, i saw what they were feeding on...
its just some old expired snacks inside a cupboard of the kitchen..
goodness..
its so many, so i just spray insecticide...
poor maid have to clean up the place I've sprayed on.

I've been very bored..
no jobs for the holiday...
no income...
still a spendthrift...
almost no shows for me to watch..
school starting...
laptop still not repaired...
fyp is getting complicated slowly...
no piano exams or lesson..
totally no music lessons...
darker circles...
lesser meals...getting thinner..but too bad its not getting thinner on my thighs >.<

I'm just bored...waiting for school to start.

I still prefer just me and friends.

I miss baby Chloe!!!

2009-03-17T21:38:00.002+08:00

too much to update le...
so i don update le..
hahahs.
lazy to type..
too much things happened.

having abt 1mth more to school reopen..
1mth more to officially yr3...
1yr and 1 mth to graduate...
few mths to think wad i want after graduate...
go after my dreams?
hahs.

2wks to syf, hoping sec schools could do themselves,conductors, school, teacher and tutors proud.
hoping to get the job of syf event..
really wanna see them..

beautiful sunday coming...
rpws concert coming...

i guess no more grade 8..
its jus a pass on 1st attempt..
move on to flute?
need to cool down awhile, before i start to put in loads of hardwork to my training and my school grade...

nth else le bah.. :)

2009-02-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday should be the most blissful day of the year for most of the people...
valentines day..
dates..well wishes.. presents..roses.. should be everywhere..

i'm glad tt its jus another day..
as it mayb valentines, but it isn't e same anymore..

exactly 1year before..
i felt blissful...
many things happened..
so blissful that i forgot i'll wake up from the dream someday..

thou i'm still wishing for the blissful feel to come back to me..
but its not bad to be with myself either :)

holidays are quite long..
mayb the school calendar have alil prob..
it says 10 wks, but from the date shown, its actually 12/14 weeks..can't really remember..
jus tt the holidays are alil too long..
mayb because i cant tke a full time job..
due to the retaking of exams..

i'm wondering when will the letter reach my ex teacher..
will she even inform me of the date...
i haven been prac..
should find a teacher soon..
but i'm gng HK soon..

next fri...
alil not looking forward to it..
cuz my best companions are not with me...

i hope we will not disgrace our school and country as i really think tt our condition wasn't our best..and we could hav been better..

i'm visiting skss band tmr..
sis is gng back NZ tis tues...
having prac tis tue..
wed gng to east spring band..
hav briefing tis wed..hopefully timing will not crash with east spring band time..
thurs packing luggage ..
fri morning FLY~~~~

disneyland, shopping malls, here i come !
hehes..
hopefully it will b a fruitful trip, althou it will b the 3rd time i'm gng HK and 2nd time gng with mr phua..
waahhas...

SYF is really stressing people out...
only the "eunuch is anxious, but not the majesty"
hopefully they will really put in effort and get what they want.. :)
jiayou to them bah...

hais..
too much things!!!

2009-02-03T00:22:00.002+08:00

slacking off as usual ever since holiday started :)

just hope that i will get tat assignment i received..
best assignment i've seen so far.

i have a serious problem hanging down there..
hhahas
i need to find a teacher to help with my aural
i don need help on any scales, nor much on pieces...
i jus need aural...
i'm jus not satisfied with a pass.
now is already in FEB month, about 1 more month thn exam period will start.
same as the situation when i first took it.

guess its really time to buck up.

today i prac a lil on my flute..
played some pieces,
i finally can almost play the whole piece of concertino!
yes!
i do feel great about it...
perhaps the rest was worth it.
i always need to "slack" /"rest" for a period of time before i may improve in my understanding of my pieces, and take a look at a whole new angle.
i love that..

i've been cooping myself at home...
mayb i should accompany sis to buy laptop tmr.... :)

i should slp early,

nites

painful new yr..

2009-01-25T17:21:00.002+08:00

nobody i knew would hav a more painful new yr than me.

my eyelids grew wad ppl sae " bat jium ".
and its not 1, but 2.
my lower eyelid, closest to the beginning of the eye, grew 1, very big one.
my upper eyelid,at the tail of the eye, grew 1, small one.
the lower eyelid's ripe, there's parse, and it was very swollen since ytd...
ytd after i went BBQ gathering with primary school frens, its still ok..
till i get home, it slowly swollen and get bigger.
loads of tears.

and because its chuxi today i thought no clinic will be open.
till my parents brought me to the same clinic abt 1 yr plus ago i went for the same problem.

same eye, same area...

i was given an injection on the bottom of the outer eyelid.
anesthetic.
it was pain..
i cried..cuz its piercing into my skin!
thn abt 5 mins later, when the anesthetic took place,
using a scalpel and cut on my lower ryrlid.
not once, but 3 times.
it was fcuking painful!
i bleed,parse was out.
cant really open my eyes.
tear=ed alot..

doc say it will hav a slight blueblack bruise cuz of the injection.
it will tke at least 1 wk to recover.

same place to be cut by scalpel, ouch..

it still hurt alot now,
like small little pins slightly piercing at my eyelids.

i don think its happy new yr..
its painful new yr.

if i ever typed wrong, please 4give me,
cuz i cant really see properly,
i only got 1 eye to see...

someone.....

2009-01-16T03:08:00.003+08:00

why some ppl jus cant get over with the past, cant move on and look forward...
after setting up your mind to get a new life and abandon e old,
yet still allow urself to reminiscence abt e past..
and think abt e same person, get "poisoned" by him...

mayb you just want to experience that type of happiness u felt tt time again...
or even, u're just making it a habit to love him,
tts y u always seems to think tat you still love him,
and can't get over with it...

if he doesn't show a single concern or anxious abt u,
wad for still waste ur energy and love on him?
worthless....

hav u ever thot, wad if its not only you who got "poisoned" by him?
wad if its not only you who's missing him, missing the past that they used to have?
how would u feel then,
will you still feel ur heart's lonliness and the need of his love?
the "shared" reminiscence of the past??

too naive....
he's not as good as you think...

thinking back abt happy times feels good...
but tt doesn't mean it will happen again with the same guy...

hopefully you will get over with it someday....
4get abt being stucked with him,
find a new life,
and b happy abt it :)

2009

2009-01-02T03:03:00.002+08:00

second day of 2009....

honestly,
i don tink 2009 will be great.
quite a few arguments happened for me..

wondering if it is sis's pms or wad, her tone of talking is always so hacked care and rude,full of anxiety.
why can't she calm down and talk nicely when i'm talking to her nicely?
cant she treat us as nice as how she treats her friends?
a simple explanation i want to tell her, she just say " go away lah, i don wanna listen " .........

problem : as a school teacher who has a laptop loan to her by the school, her own laptop died on her long time ago.
her solution: buy a macbook.

my analysis: for someone as a secondary school teacher, there should be no use for mac's creative softwares, so it defeats the purpose of using a macbook. hmm,may be she do not know the different system that is used, so i will explain to her wad's macintosh system and windows system.
so i went on thinking to explain to her, and she said " ya rite i wanna buy a macbook wad", thn she mistakenly said "imac", which is a desktop mac, so i said, "you want a desktop??"and she said "no, i say laptop mah", i really want her to understand by buying a macbook, you use macintosh system, even if you were to partition and change the system fully into windows, you still need the windows vista/xp authetication code from the disc that you bought, and you will need to spend at least 300+ more for that software, and upgrading the specs of the macbook so as to make it last longer, warranty cost almost 500. so how much will she have to spend?? answer= 2100(assumed)+300+500= almost 3000 for a macbook that she doesnt really need, and she could hav used tt money to buy other brands which hav better specs w/o e need of upgrading, using windows system, no extra cost of softwares and plus warranty of min 1 yr.

forget it if she don understands, let her learn the hard way...
same goes for getting a new car...
if she thinks she can always use dad's money for car expenses, then she's wrong...
she should b e one spending car expenses on her own money since she's working already, which makes no diff from big sis, as she pay for herself too..
stubborn!

i've been visiting baby chloe since i came back from taiwan..
she's taller, fatter, bigger..
by cny, she would be 4 mths old..
ytd she's officially 2 mths old! :)

all i want for a new yr is a new start....
i want ...
family to hav less arguments,
dad and mum to nag less and don b so sensitive to issues,
bro in law and family to be healthy and hav more financial freedom,
my family to be healthy,
my piano retake exam will come out good,
school and projects to be done with my effort,
try not to be late for school,
less troubles so that i won't hav so much small tiny pimples popping out!
manage my time better,
get moving on from getting a piano to flute tutor,
end yr2sem2 sooner.

lost sleep recently..
bad....

byul

2008-12-29T02:16:00.000+08:00

Lyrics | Youme lyrics - Byul lyrics

Param-kyori cha-ngeu-rheun-teul-go
(the wind is shaking the windows)
nae kiman-han cha-gun naye bang wi-ro
(and over my small room,)
arum-taun-ke pyul-bit-durun
(the stars fill up the sky) )
kaduk chae-wo-chuneyo
(shining brightly too many to count)
sel-su-obshi manhunt pyul-tu-reun
(the stars reassure tired me)
ji-chyo-in-nun na-reul oru-man-chimyo
(shining brightly too many to count,)
nae mam-soge katok tamun nun-mul tak-ka shu-neyo
(that are deep inside me)

Bridge:
man-hyi apa-ha-ji-ma
(don’t be hurt too much..)
nal kkung anun-chae tado-kyojumyo
(they hug me tight and pamper me)
chal-jara wero-hae ju-neyo
(and comfort me,telling me to go to sleep)

Chor:
goshi mo-thal man-kum hime gyowa apa-wado
(though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk)
nun-muri a-peul kar-yowado
(though my tears blur my vision)
gatchi-mothan nae sarang apedo na usul-lae-yu
(even if Love's not meant for me)
cham-shira-do gyote
(I will keep on smiling)
haeng-bo-khaet-don giok-turul
(Even though our happy times were short)
ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
(I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart)
tunune sunoh-a-jin cho pyol-deul-cho-rom yongwonhi
(like those countless number of stars, forever)

II.
kkumul kku-deut taka-uneyo
(My dream is coming.)
yu-nu-nhi-do balkun naye byol hana
(though it is unusual that my one star is bright)
nunbu-shi-mi panjja-gimyo
(it is very bright, even blinding..)
okkae-wiro naer-yo-wa
(it comes down to my shoulder)

B2:
jakku sulpo-hajima
(stop being so sad..)
son kkong chabun-chae nal manchyo-jumyo
(it holds my hand as it touches me)
tta-seu-hi nal kamssa-shu-neyo
(and gives me a warm hug)

End Chorus:
na onul-manun anu-royunun-muri kadokchowado
(Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears)
chogi cho byol-deul-choromna u-seul-lae-yo ooohhhh
(I want to laugh like those stars)
haeng-bokhaet-don giok-modu
(Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments)
ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
(deep inside my heart)
tunune sunoh-a-jincho pyon-deul-cho-rom yongwonhi
(Like those countless number of stars, forever)

2008-11-22T22:40:00.006+08:00

1st 2 players were my fav :)
2nd and 4th video are both Charminade's concertino, but played in a diff feel.
4th is more matured,2nd has great memory and quite talented to play like this, some of us can't even play finish the 1st page of it XD

lastly,
entertainment!
Canon Rock style!

updates.

2008-11-22T21:46:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

lets list it.

RPWS concert over,
bags spree reached,
cheque banked in,
audition over.

left...
2 more weeks of school
2 more weeks to taiwan trip
4 wks to rehears and concert for band fest.
6 UTs to go.

activities...
not attending band prac till nxt concert.
attending piano every wed.
starting to attend CE talks.
visiting sis family frequently.
no school on Fridays.

wishes...
to do online shopping again..
get a super flexible job..
financial freedom..
watch loads of shows..
get better grades..
attend more lessons..
prac harder on both instruments..
save more money for taiwan trip..
get a fortune telling for myself..
KTV with frens..
etc..

when i remember then i list down again..

getting more breathable :)

happy happy ^^V

jazz piano concert.

2008-11-09T22:41:00.002+08:00

hmm...
i've got six tix,
but in the end only 4 were taken, including mine..
plus gif kiko 1 as a memory..

the concert..
erm..
seriously speaking i only heard 2-3 jazz pieces..
but the teacher is really good wid jazz feel...
he can come up wid anything..

i think tats wad Mark was referring to as good player..
cuz he can play anything...
anything impromptu...

e teacher said he had tis talented kid,
i tink mayb he's young, so still not there yet, perhaps giv him a few more yrs, he can play great pieces, or mayb come up impromptu jus like the teacher :)

but overrall, great attempt for all of the performers,
all very brave,
cuz i experience this kinda thing b4..

last time i took part in this international violin & piano competition.
in my category, according to my age, i was the worst..
cuz i know i seriously not prepared for the competition.
but my teacher ask me to try..

i prepared the Reverie by Debussy,
quite good.
thn the judge purposely choose Chopin's Etude Op.10 no.3 ..
compared to Mozart's Sonata in F, of cuz i would also choose Chopin's Etude to see the student's standard.

well, i promise i will go back there to challenge with Chopin's Etude..
But not now, i'm still not prepared, wasn't prac tt recently, was prac my exam pieces..
b'cuz i'm not happy with my results,
i'm sure to get at least a merit with my second time,
i swear i wont slip my notes,
i will perfect them, and my scales and arpeggios, and hopefully sightreading was tt diff that day XD

my aural, i'm still stepping it up...
tis wk got lesson le..
i haven prac...
siao liao...
sure she will scold me x.x

jiayou bah..
to every1 who's taking exams .*)

My Jap traditional name.

2008-11-07T13:17:00.003+08:00

in all sorts of possibility

1. shirley tong

My authentic japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) ?子 Aiko (child of the morning sun).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

2. shirley

My authentic japanese name is 吉国 Yoshikuni (good fortune country) 澄麗 Sumire (clear and lovely).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

3. tong xiao li

My authentic japanese name is 猿渡 Saruwatari (monkey on a crossing bridge) 三千代 Michiyo (three thousand generations).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

4.xiaoli

My authentic japanese name is 森田 Morita (forest field) 美弥子 Miyako (beautiful march child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

5. tong shirley

My authentic japanese name is 猿渡 Saruwatari (monkey on a crossing bridge) 澄麗 Sumire (clear and lovely).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

hmmm...

so many names..
but i quite like Yoshikuni Aiko and Morita Miyako..
lols...
e meanings are damn funny!
hahahah!

but most important our dear baby chloe's jap name.
very nice!

My authentic japanese name is 中村 Nakamura (center of the village) 美晴 Miharu (beautiful clear sky).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

2008-11-02T18:41:00.005+08:00

1st November 2008
Baby chloe's arrived!!
time :2015
weight: 2.885kg
height :49 cm
head circumference: 31cm

baby chloe finally arrived...
had always waited for this day to come...

baby chloe likes to stretch her leg...
she got quite a big feet as a new born...
mayb she would be tall like her father :)

she got pretty finger nails.. really!
do manicure very nice!
and she got long fingers...
She would be one of my student...
should be the youngest of my student..make her learn piano :)

baby chloe always wanna hide herself.. hehes
its my 1st time carry a newborn...
so soft, so fragile...

1st time i went to hospital with a smile and not worried..
i saw e pictures when she's still bloody...
my bro-in-law took it... lols...

i will dote on her for sure...
nxt time i see her will be nxt nxt wed...
i'll go piano lesson XD

pictures time!

see she likes to stretch.haha!

2008-10-31T00:10:00.002+08:00

when can i get proper rest??

sadded..

i hope the opening will sound good..
so many days go school, cannot waste e effort eh..

thn i can concentrate on concert already...

tix sales..
omg..

can i help to improve??
or i cant??

tmr still need to wake up so early for my mum..

hope sis is alrite wid baby chloe..
hope chloe now don grow so fast, if not sis cannot tahan e weight..

2008-10-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

yupps..

i started working in Vivo city de Candy Empire since ytd...

ytd was quite alrite, not much to do,
jus walk ard make sure that everything is need and in order...
nvr out of stock...
always make the shelves full of candies and chocs...
help the cashier and pack stuff..
help to restock, and tag the manufacturer sticker..
and lastly, mop the floor..
ahhas

hmmm..
2nd day, today, was a lil bit not tt gd...
loads of goods came in..
thou got colleagues' help, but i still make some mistakes..
kena scolded for a few times...
jus there's once, my last scolding from chye, i really almost teared..
he said,"u want me scold u again?"
i mean its a small matter mah...
i jus tape the teared down scotch tape on the part where he's gng to throw mah...
gosh...
too many ppl has their own sae...
as a part timer..
i jus hav to follow wad i heard..

not sure how long i'm gonna stay there..
but definitely not longer than 6 mths... or even 4 mths...
i think at most, once i start my yr3 i'm gonna stop this job...

i really dunu how much i can endure..
as a musician, performer, student, some1 who's used to office job,
i really dunu how much i can endure..

wait till my 1st pay thn sae bah...

really hope bevely can come to vivo work tgt wid me again :)
and hope there's always faridah and hui juan ard:)
chin quan and zakiyah ard oso not bad :)
the badest of all.....chye!
always scold me...
and always ask me to mop the floor..
today i mop alone la...
my back damn aching...

i really wish hannah to get back wad she's holding on to...:)

2008-10-17T19:59:00.002+08:00

i had totally no idea wad i'm doing...

totally...

feel like laughing at myself...

haha.....

kinda dunu which is important anymore..
dunu wad i want..
seriously u wanna ask me smile from deep down my heart, i don really tink i can do it.

thot of all e past..
i feel tt i'm sorry towards some ppl..
sorry to hurt them tt way..
and hated myself whom dunu how to cherish wad i had before..
mayb if i din do certain things, i would feel happier...

but i guess i still have to live wid it...
god is punishing me for my mistakes for not cherishing happiness that i was given..
so i cant get the happiness now..

2008-10-10T20:20:00.004+08:00

this week is super tiring..

i guess its b'cuz i woke up too early...

finally coming to school on time recently..

its getting better la..

and i nvr skip class already, except for music compo class..

cuz faci super boring, and i noe she hates my class..

but its not my fault...cuz my class got assholes ...

anyway, the most interesting lesson for tis week is sound design!

hahahs!

took some pictures, lets see...

featuring, takuya katsu, jeevi, shah, elliot..

wanna noe y i'm not inside?
cuz i tke photograph mah... LOLS!

^^

2008-10-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

today sis and baby chloe came to visit again!!

hahhas..
really love them coming...

baby chloe still got about 1 mth and 12days b4 she come out :)
i really wanna go and experience the anticipation of awaiting a new born baby..
thou its not my own, but at least it has my sibling's blood. :)

baby chloe today moved..
hhhahas
very constant bump up..
felt it whn i placed my hand on it..

sis say mayb having hiccups..
cuz its very constant..
hahhahs!
so cute rite??

thn i tried to listen for something in the womb..
i hear the movements of liquids inside the womb..
ahhahas...
thn there's afternoon nap..
sis and baby chloe slp...i oso slp..
my head very near baby chloe..
wahahha!

baby chloe...muz guai guai ok??
你乖乖晓俐阿姨会好好疼你的喔！ :)

nov..

2008-10-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

went to meet wayne at 2.30 somerset.
bringing 2 apple macbook :)
hahas..
so 幸福 with 2 macbooks on me..

but its damn heavy -.-

went to send apples to repair..
i told the person my prob...
one by one..

i tink she damn pissed..
thinking y couldnt i say everything at one go, so she no need to go in and out...

wayne thot he could change his adapter (bitten by the dog) and the battery..
actually the battery was ok nah, so far i use..

but the adapter really very poor thing..
Naughty dog go and bite till wire spoil...

eat subway!
healthy lifestyle..
muahahhas...
wayne's treat!

went to sing...
took some pictures..

the mic in K*** really sucks..
hahas..
put our studies into use..
dynamic mic, 4got the model...
one is omni-directional, one is cardioid...

omni-directional de best among it..
cardioid diff to catch sound...

hahhas!
thn wayne play wid my camera thn found out this special effect
almost work like a photoshop that puts 3 pictures into one...
later got example then see...

oso wayne's treat..

went to bugis street get my fren a present...
its really nice...
got myself sth too!!
afterall its my b'dae ytd..
hahahs

b4 we went home...
we went to 7-11..
bought heineken...wanna prove my legacy
haha!
the moment i go to cashier he ask me " you 18 & above already?"
i said "yah!"
then show him my ic..
the person beside him said "eh, ytd only leh"
^^V lols..

the macbook was wid wayne...
4got to tke from him b4 i board e bus..
so if i don get from him i no laptop use mah..
so i alighted the nxt stop...took 65
alighted at macperson POSB there..

i thot of taking a short cut...but i dunu how, cuz its dark..
so i followed a girl...
thn she walk too fast, i saw a international hostel..
so i followed a china guy..
then u noe where the china guy go???!!
towards the cemetary at woodleigh station!!!!

so i walk back, cuz no road le...its dark dark de grass patch..
later step on shit or bump into spirits thn how..

thn i saw another girl...i ask her for direction..
yes!
finally i saw light...
i perspire like hell la...

finally noe y no matter wad you should always go home..
cuz there's no place like home..
no safest place than home...

due to heat, pespiration, i got rashes whn i got home...
but luckily after shower it got better... :)

photos time...

its me

singing, la la la~

la~la~la~

wadz wrong wid wayne's expression?? hahahs
hahah..wayne's unglam photo!

2008-10-03T11:59:00.002+08:00

b'dae jus over...

finally turned 18, yes!

hmm..

really thanks to all who send me their wishes!!

weiwen weiwei kiko chan evans jieying saiful amin yihui minghan xinyi sharon jiahong mingwei hannah sandy ralph ziqi huda cindy huining hanping EricLim desmondLim sichun anthony nicholas
beiyi weiyi
xh zilei zihui+mak+baby chloe baojie
papa mummy

thankyou all of you!!

huggs!

i went to eat sushi and swensens ice cream..
now still super damn full!!!

and i'm drink ice wine now!
cuz wanna slp already so ice wine is just nice...
hahha!
official seh~

tmr i'm going to buy from outside officially!
looking forward to tmr's k-session..

photos...

i enjoyed on 3rd oct:)

thanks to zihui+mak+chloe :)

2008-09-30T21:51:00.002+08:00

什么时候才能到我遇到命中注定的人呢。。。

什么时候我才能变的如此幸福。。。

但我好像不知道该怎么去爱一个人了。。。
因为我突然不知道我为何需要爱。。。

爱，到底是为了什么而爱。。。
要怎么去喜欢呢。。

为什么现在的我，世界好象少了某些色彩呢。。
是因为少了爱情吗？
可是，友情不够吗？

为什么会感到如此空虚呢。。。

我到底要什么？

倒数3天

touching sand artist

2008-09-26T20:26:00.005+08:00

2008-09-26T03:44:00.003+08:00

I think i'm not gng to slp le...
its almost 4...
wad'z e point...
i got my "important stuff" done..

not yet study for UT later..

thinking of PP poster..

worried for piano exam results..

talk to hannah on the phone and msn..

joke of the day??

oh gloriosa do me nah~
x shell sa su pear si-e deh rah~
qu-i teh cre ah vit,
pro- vi deh,
lah ca-ta ste-i sah~ ~
crow ouh beh reh~

hahhas

jus joking,
din mean to disrespect the composer... :)

stanley is WATCHING everyone.....

2008-09-25T15:57:00.002+08:00

tagboard reply:
mingwei: every yr oso got mah..lols tis time as usual giv hannah a bouquet of flowers ar?? so sweet!

hannah: I cant come mah, too bad..lols..don miss me:(

stanley: omg.. y are u watching me??? hahahsXD

concert coming in a 2mths time...
sectionals should start soon...
hahhas..

poster for pp dunu put wad eh..

i cant skip anymore studio techiniques class already..
too many skips i dunu wad to do..

jus heard back SWS de disc recording for Symphonic sounds '07 and beautiful sunday 07 with Mr Mitsuo Nonami...

It was great..
a lil mistakes..
but it still sounded great as a recording...
good recording...
I think better than TRCC de...
even though there isn't microphones focus on any instrument...
:)
love the trumpets and rasull's playing..
awsome!

spree spree!
much to shop!
:)

2008-09-18T23:38:00.002+08:00

today no school..

tts y late for band...

every thurs i will repeat this scenario...

" woke up at 12noon-2pm,
eat,
prac piano,
till 430..

oh SHit!
faster go bathe..

reach band at 6pm ++ ......"

hahas.
today played back Gloriosa..

gosh...
few months ago i really had enough of it..
but now play back, dunu y will tremble a lil.
nvr breathe enough oso...

thinking of martha from HK neowinds.
she played really very "open" i like!...
but i still cant play it tt way...
hopefully i can:)

starting from tue,
hannah, phylis, me..
we always walk tgt to interchange...

thn tue,
whn i was saying sth about holding hands..
hold hands " 牵手 "..

phylis sae abt her invention...
“牵手，牵手，
你大便没有洗手！”

thn i continue..
“牵手，牵手，
你小便也没有洗手！”

thn hannah sae
“牵手，牵手，
你放屁也很臭～！”

hahhaasss!!!!
ROFL LOL!!!!!

hahahahs!

hmmm...
wonder how long its gonna last to make us laugh...

hahs..
anw hannah nvr come today...
less 1 person go home wid me..

thn went home on mrt wid yr ones...
yizhen damn happy see me bah..
cuz i'm e last to alight e train at toa payoh!
argghh..

so far~~~~~....

okays, nvm..hahs.

hopefully wayne's PP will be accepted soon....
jiayou weiwei!

weiwei~ bu yao pa...
ni shi hao wa wa~
zi ji die dao,
zi ji pa....

hehehs...XD

2008-09-15T23:22:00.004+08:00

very tired today...

couldnt get much slp last nite..

thot of the past, emotions took over..

but i'm glad i spent my time that way.

li ching is definitely boring...
heard some ppl sae she's quite ok, if u noe how to talk...

yet i skipped class, went to play piano at library with one of my newly made fren, kiko chan~

hahas...
kiko chan~ is a HE, not SHE
hahahs... ROFL

i felt like my piano prac was not enough...

and 2day i was really wanna play flute for kiko chan~...
but cuz today got AGM meeting till 9 plus, thn reach home about 11pm only,
came back damn hungry...bought some food to eat...
dou huay + tang yuan!!!!

hmmm...
yesterday was my chinese calendar b'dae..
was wondering whn is the next time whn 3 oct is mid-autumn festival again...jus like whn i'm born....

RJ done, evaluation done, wad else..
eat , slack and slp lo...

nitez

2008-09-13T12:11:00.001+08:00

天秤座终极完美分析

优雅的天平在灯红酒绿中微笑转身，顾盼神采，洒脱如同水中的鱼。他们与红酒，水晶杯，晚礼服，钢琴曲是那么的相得益彰，漫不经意的吸
引着公众的眼光……
几乎所有人都有这样一种印象：
天平座的人善意、可亲，爱交朋友。于是大家也由此认为天平是群居生物，必然是害怕独处，喜欢热闹的。
但，事实并不是表面看来那样简单。
的确，天平是个和平使者。在公众场合可以很好地调节气氛使之均衡。气氛热烈时，他们会沉静的压住阵脚；气氛冷凝时，他们会运用不着痕
迹的轻松幽默化解坚冰。总之他们不会随波逐流去助长气氛的冷热，而是像用天平称量物品一样，加减砝码，使之维持水平状态。
而他们在做这种加减的时候，动作是优雅的，态度是和悦的，看起来漫不经心不动声色。实际上，他们是很有心计的人，尽管众口难调，也可
以找到一种万全的方式来使全局和谐起来。
但是这并不是说他们喜欢主宰，只是因为他们看不得失衡，那会使他们如坐针毡。
因此，尽管慵懒的天平座讨厌麻烦，讨厌得要命，他们还是会不由自主地担负起调节的责任。也许正因如此，使得天平在公众场合从未放松过
自己。性格使他们承担了不必要的责任，无可推卸。
他们不吝惜金钱，却吝惜自由的时间和安静的休闲时光。像所有风向星座一样，他们喜欢自由，喜欢像风一样谁也捉不住他。
他们喜欢自在独立的空间。就算你是他最好的朋友，也不要老和他粘在一起，你要知道他并不喜欢如此，尽管他不会直接说出来。你也得相信
，你的天平座朋友也许半年也没有音信，但是只要一见面，你还是他最好的朋友。因为他就是这种交友方式，你拿他怎么办？

'我懒得……'
这是天平座的口头语。他们懒得出门，懒得聚会，懒得应酬……所以他们并不是很喜欢参加party。倒是宁愿呆在家里上网，看书，画画。他们自
身是均衡的，一个人的均衡总比一群人的均衡来的容易。所以他们喜欢独处。
通常，天平座的人会给人一见如故的感觉，因为他们有着温婉的微笑和优雅的举止。对初次见面的人，天平座往往表现出自己最讨人喜欢的一
面：善解人意，大方，诚恳，健谈。但是这种热情劲儿不会长久。冷漠何时到来取决于你与他交往的频率。你越是粘得紧，他就冷得越快。因
为他们喜欢'君子之交清淡如水'。不是他们不喜欢同伴，而是他们和人交往更多地关注了对方的情绪，总想着照顾对方心情，不要发生冲突，
所以感觉像是在工作一样，无法真正的放松。
较之对宫白羊座，天平是另一种独立的个体。白羊是一种外在的独立，内心是热的；天平则是表面看似亲和力很强，内心却是任谁也无法融入
的。天平的冷静，连他们自己也觉得惊讶。'我居然如此冷漠！太不可思议了……'他们审视自己的时候，感觉有点陌生。那是因为他们把内心世
界掩饰得连自己都骗过了。
他们控制情绪的能力太强了。最亲近的人会感觉到，天平给人不露声色的隔离感，有时会被埋怨'太冷静了，我都不知道你在想什么！'
可是他们不是故意要隐瞒什么，只是出于本能。一个连自己都骗过了的人，你还能要求他对你坦白什么？
他们不喜欢歇斯底里，不喜欢痛哭失声，不喜欢安慰别人也不怎么喜欢被安慰。因为他们懂得，谁也无法真正理解另一个人。
天平，其实是很独立的一个星座。他们在霓虹灯影里微笑，在灯火阑珊处寂寞。
他们叫你懂得：孤独的最高境界是繁华。

2008-09-12T01:37:00.002+08:00

first week of school jus ended 2 days ago..
and i already skipped 2 class..
music theory and studio technique..

music theory cuz i got piano exam that day.
studio technique cuz i rush for pp report e previous nite, thn 4got wake up..

but...i'm so gonna wake up early for tmr theory class!!
so excited abt it..
especially faci is Mark Papayoanou hahahs!

seriously trying to relax myself slowly...
slow down my pace..

but thn still got pp poster not done...
i really hate last min..
but i really don hav ideas now..

today went 2 band, late, hahhas.
no time management,...
shouldn't be late anymore..
brandon came for band!
he POP already...hahhas, guess he misses band pracs.

went home wid hannah han!!
finally..
see every1 nxt tue again!!

i really love e situation now, bonded,
no cold wars...
lets stay this way ok??

hmmm...
today was weird whn i took e lift home...
i press 13 floor..
but dunu y e door open at 9 floor..
thn i wanna press go up..
but e nxt lift suddenly alot of ppl,
i scared paisae,
so i took e stairs up...
not too far oso..hahhas

jus feel weird..
hahas.

anw today thanks ziqi for reminding me do some stuffs such as arragement of parts..
i hope you all are ok with e parts, if u all not ok wid the parts, i don mind hear your suggestion..
really..
cuz if u all nvr sae thn i will treat it as u all willing accept it..
but if u tell me, i will reconsider and help you all to b more happy with your parts de...
:)
i'm someone whom u can discuss wid, not jus an SL who only noes how 2 conduct sectional
>.<

hao le..
late le..
tmr go class..
nitez........

woohoo!

2008-09-09T01:00:00.002+08:00

Yes ah!
PP report submitted...

thanks to Wayne, CPC, and Ian who helped me a lot in this report. XD

For course got "JIM" hahahas, melvin, and Mr Tan aik koon for advising me and accepting my interview :)

Report is finally done
Piano exam is over,,
Concert is overm
RJ of the day oso done...

Now is time to chill a little and get back to RPWS and concentrate on them le.

BUT...
I still hav poster presentation to jiayou...

aiyo..
clueless on what to do again..

now hopefully Luke accepts my report..

CPC my report got loads of resources and information,its a good report,
hopefully Luke think so too :)
hahs

today collected PRO TOOLS LE..

but i dunu how to use,
don even noe where's the product key or registration key,
every serial number is different, how do i noe which is which...

lols..

finally gng back to RPWS,
wonder have they improved or what...

hopefully they don deprove can le...
hahhas
cuz its tough to bring up a section..

so my dear dear flautist,
pls keep it up just like the competition and we jiayou together ok??

loves you all!
miss you all..

especially hannah han,
wanna meet you oso dunu how...haiyo.

everytime no band prac..
tmr got le,
muz come wor!

hao la,
gotta meet Mr Zhou Gong now...

tata~

carry on.

2008-09-07T17:28:00.002+08:00

piano exam finally over le..

"press play" concert over le..

nxt,

PP report!!!

chiong ar!!!!!

lols.
too much to do..

breathe, let me breathe.....

^o^

upload pictures later :)

2008-09-07T14:35:00.001+08:00

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Musician Doo doo de doo waaaa doo de doo! (<-- That's you playing something.) Everyone appreciates the band/orchestra geeks and the pretty voices. Whether you sing in the choir, participate in a school/local band, or sit at home writing music, you contribute a joy to society that everyone can agree on. Yay! Welcome to actually doing something for poor, pathetic human souls. (Just kidding.)
Artistic Nerd
Social Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Anime Nerd
Literature Nerd
Drama Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2008-08-29T16:38:00.002+08:00

aiyo...
stress ar..

piano exam coming...
ytd just had the 1st session of studio prac,
omg..
cmi..

wad my teacher sae is correct, grade 8 is just like a recital,
cannot afford to play wrong notes or even slipped ur hand..
muz be perfect..

I think my scales die already...arghh

sight reading oso not much prac..

aural the most jialat one..

damn scared for exam....

tmr will hav another session of studio prac again..
sigh..
gng to get scolded by her again...

sae tt we'll fail...

hais...

thn somemore PP's deadline is coming nearer and NEARER!!!
and i haven done interview..
which is tmr and sun..

tmr oso got youth band prac, 1-3 plus thn i go studio prac...
youth band concert is 6 sept...

so 5 sept piano exam,
6 sept concert,
9 sept last submission!!!!

all squeezed tgt..
and 3sept which is nxt wed, school reopen..

dunu is sad or happy..
happy cuz got e module i like..
sad cuz everything so tite tgt....

aiyoyoyo........
-__-......
*_*...

2008-08-21T03:04:00.002+08:00

你知不知道人，除了自己要有工作养活自己以外，
人的身体部位也要有工作来养活自己吗？

我们：
眼睛的工作，就是要看自己最在乎的人。。

鼻子的工作，是要去闻自己心爱的人的香味。。

耳朵的工作，是要听在乎的人所要告诉你的每一件事。。

嘴的工作，是要亲吻心爱的人，让他／她知道你是爱着他／她的。。

肩膀的工作，是要让在乎的人有个依靠。。

双手的工作，是要紧紧的拥抱在乎的人，安慰或给予安全感。。

胸和背的工作，是要给心爱的人躺着，依赖着。。

等等。。

这些都是为了的到能得到养活自己的心的酬劳，

那就是情感。。

只有情感才能让你的心活下去。。。

不管是开心，伤心，难过，发疯，或想哭，
起码能知道自己还是有情感，还活着。。。

2008-08-20T11:25:00.002+08:00

can i complain here?

aiyo..

wadz wrong wid my sis ar...

I came back late, told her my phone gng no batt thats y need her to tell papa and mummy ar...

thn she took the money tt was meant for me, thn she nvr even pass me within the nxt 2 days.

I borrowed her bag, i used it once, but i jus 4got to put it back to her place mah, but it's still in the hse wad.

I told her i just 4got..

Then she suddenly sae i irresponsible, come home late nvr sae (yes la, sometimes, 1 or 2 times only), tke things nvr put back(only for tt stupid bag).
Might as well 4got to come back, 4got to tke money..

b'cuz i need it of cuz i wont 4get la, who will 4get to go home?
unless i lost my memory la, if not then muz b i with my frens mah.....
who will stay out alone??

if don tke money thn wad i eat?

hello~, i don hav a job yet, my only way 2 get money is parents mah..

u got job, different wad..
of cuz no need get money la...

I already try to prevent myself from getting angry so tt i don quarrel with you le,
y u still wanna quarrel with me?

I only see u less than 5 hrs a day, except on weekends, why cant u sae sth nicer??

siaozhabor leh...
i jus wake up only thn scold me for things tt happen so long...

If she want me to return her bag, y not she notice earlier that e bag is not ard?
its like, 2 wks already she nvr notice wor, then she come scold me only now...
jus b'cuz she got tt stupid sore eye tt she tke leave from school...

u sore eye then scold ppl, tink u're in power, i ytd migrain u noe nth norh,
wa lao eh..

i now oso jus feeling better only, i'm not ur "anger frustration tool" ok!
don jus any time find faults and scold me as u like!

i hav things to b angry abt too, but i wont be like u suddenly frustrate out on the only sister you hav now in e house!

i tell u, once i go oversea wid 3rd sis, no one will quarrel with u, u'll b in sg wid only bro, juna, and our parents only...
ahhahahahahah!

I see who can still b ur frustration tool !

siaozhabor..

2008-08-15T00:20:00.003+08:00

http://www.akiba-online.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18679

This girl, She is 22yrs old..
But she has the look of a 3 yr old girl...

hahahs.

I guess she jus hav a very small and thin lips which kids hav, the shape of the eyes that kids has, and baby fats.

If u realize her nose, the skin is really very baby-like.
The eye inside of course can use contact lens to help make it bigger and look more innocent..

hahahs

But i tink her skin is really great, hopefully there're no photoshopping of the photos done XD

2008-08-02T11:06:00.002+08:00

people always sae, man will never grow up,
they will always hav this 'small boy' in them.

people also sae, guys who went NS, doesn't mean they've matured...

well, i think its true..

they have only become more matured when..

they start to work,

they have planned for future,

they have a goal to achieve...

they noe wad they want...

they noe wad direction they are gng towards...

only these will a man be settled..
don u think so??

XD

2008-07-28T15:31:00.005+08:00

its been some time since i blogged...

well, loads of thins happened...

it has been a very busy busy week..

last week i was sick for 3 consecutive days, so i rested and skipped skul..

ya, i did prac my piano too..
thinking tat my letter will come soon.
Lizaan already got her letter for the notice of exam date..
she oso taking grade 8 piano this yr.
her exam is 19/18 august, forgot >.<
veryvery fast

consider my condition, i still need loads of prac..
thou i can get all the notes, accuracy is still bit of a prob.
and feeling is not there, hahahs
slowly bah..

having extra prac on mon, tue..
tue i nvr go band..
so whn thursday came, it was competition day..

SIBF Republic poly.

i did not go skul,
muz let myself relax, i shall not and should not panic.

make up done.
clothing done.
hair done.
prac done.
tuning done.

it was our turn on the 2nd half of Division I competition.
excited. yet muz b calm..

last SYF for skss, i was nervous, in the end i hav 2 giv up my solo.

this time round, i din hav 2 giv up, so i gav my best.

yup, i do get loads of good and excellent comments from the audience, conductors, etc.

thanks alot to those ppl who commented on me..
really thankyou, appreciated :)

so we waited for our results at 10 plus 11, we oso watched the other bands,
thailand lumpang band, Hk neowinds...etc.
they were great, really..
especially ACS both independent and JC...
wow...

Neowinds played gloriosa too..their running notes were clearer than us...
wow..

AND the results : SILVER!
83.14 %, 2nd in DIVISION I
1st was Philyouth.
Congrats to them, hahhas.

fri, rested at home too..
tired..

sat, we had a master class with Douglas Bostock!!!
he very handsome!!!
i enjoyed the session with him alot..

sun,
exchange with Neowinds from HK..
Neowinds is sort of outside band.. jus like our philyouth, sws, kim seng, etc.
their band consist of age 10-25...
it was really great!
they hav good winds section..
brass oso very good...
especially Martha,piccolo player.
she was only 12 yrs old!
she learn flute for 6 yrs, piccolo for 1 yr only....
and her sound is fantastic...
her sound is so "opened"
but lack of expression...a bit rough...but its still excellent!

i oso learn for 6 yrs..
i played picc for 5 yrs...
compare us...
i really bow down to her...

such a talented flautist and piccoloist...

after that we went to sentosa for Outreach programme by SIBF.
wow, the sun....
hot!!!!!

after us was the thailand lumpang band...
hahahs

they saw 2 very handsome and cute eupho guys...
lols...
but i muz sae their sound is real nice, jus tt they shld be more careful with the choices of piece,
alil' not tt 'high'...
hahas

lastly the pictures!
i will upload at facebook soon...'
if u hav my account,hahhas.
but will upload some here..

ok, report finished! :)

2008-07-19T19:20:00.002+08:00

Do you know what is Attraction?

Attraction includes physical and emotional connection between Man & Woman.
and it brings Man and Woman together.

Man often 'withdraw' and 'pull back' from woman.

Man do not label their feelings, and he would use dumb languages such as
" It's not you, but me"
" I'm not ready for a serious relationship"

But deep down, 99% of all men are ready for a relationship and Love to find that special woman, someone with whom they could finally let their guard down, and experience true love.

A Man will never tell you about why he didn't want you.
When a Man pulls away from a Woman, it's not because Men are 'screwed up',
and not because he has doubts about being in a relationship.
It's because he has doubts about being in a relationship with That Particular Woman.

It doesn't mean he's not attracted to you physically,
(if not he wouldn't get close with you.)
Neither is it no attraction emotionally.

But it's just that there wasn't Enough Attraction there to lead him feel that you were the one for him.

So how to give a Man that 'forever feel' so he knows that without a doubt you are the perfect Woman for him?

1. How attraction works for Man, and how to create it inside a Man, that awakens more than just his physical sense & 'short-term' interest.

Men respond to anticipation, tension & other ingredients of Attraction.
If used correctly, they will amplify each other, leading to a very strong DEEP LEVEL of ATTRACTION.
If you want Man to feel the GUT LEVEL attraction inside more than "she's cute or hot enough to date a little while" that some guys feel, then you need to evolve for yourself a NEW UNDERSTANDING of how communication works.

2. The things that destroy attraction & lead a Man to say " I'm not ready for a relationship" & how to avoid them.

Have you ever met a man where you both connected deeply,
things moved FAST because it felt so right,
but then the unthinkable happened when you finally talked one day…
and he said that he actually wasn't that “into” you and a relationship after all…
even though his thoughts, behavior and feelings told you an entirely different story about him all along?

They key to avoiding this is to learn both how attraction is created AND destroyed.

It's a pain, but once a man decides that you're the “I'm just not ready for a relationship” girl to him (translation: you acted predictable and lack emotional intelligence enough to prove that you're going to be less and less comfortable, fun and easygoing as time goes on) then that's it…

You don't want to create this feeling or idea in a man's head and kill the deeper level attraction he could feel for you.

It’s CRUCIAL that you learn how to “keep the ball in the air” and keep the attraction building… not just physically, but emotionally… which is the trickiest part with a man.

It’s also crucial that you learn how to easily and almost effortlessly KEEP a man feeling that intense desire and attraction inside a relationship… and not just in the early dating stages.

3. Understand how to read and respond to a Man's 'emotional world'

Men might act emotionally strong, indifferent, and even cold, but most men are surprisingly fragile emotionally. The thing is… it's just not part of their more “masculine” make up to display or talk about these things much of the time and to avoid the opportunity they bring for connection and intimacy.

Instead, they often express their emotions in more symbolic and indirect ways… when it comes to dating and relationships, most women commonly misinterpret or react negatively to a man's “natural” emotional displays.

Think about this…

Attractive men who are smart, handsome, and successful are flirted with and approached all the time.

These men have OPTIONS.

And some of the more “needy” and desperate women who try for their attention have no idea whatsoever what it takes to get an attractive man's attention and KEEP IT.

And even if these women do date a guy for a while and things “seem” good, if a woman doesn't understand how things work for HIM, and how his feelings are triggered without all the neediness, emotional pleading, sexual enticements, etc., then there's no way the man's going stay attracted and interested for the long term.

It isn't “fair”, and it can just suck, but if a woman doesn't understand how to create attraction, how a man's emotions open up and close off, and why… then a man just won't FEEL IT for her as time passes - even if the connection USED TO BE THERE.

Understanding this mindset… how it affects a man's personality… and (this is key) what kinds of “games” men play to diplomatically and politely excuse themselves or withdraw from any future commitment is HIGHLY important.

I know how frustrating it can be with what seems like so many “games” going on and so much to think about just for the simple feeling and sharing of love.

And isn't true love supposed to just “happen” and be free of all this?

Well… the thing is, once you start to understand more about a man's emotional world and how to help him tune into yours, it won't seem or feel like work to you at all.

You'll be able to get back into that “flow” where love IS shared and expressed easily… and you will both start to naturally understand and fulfill each other.

If there's one thing that attractive men seem to respond to universally, it's A WOMAN WHO GETS WHAT'S GOING ON EMOTIONALLY for herself AND for him.

THAT’S when a man will share his love with you.

Being a woman who already “gets” what an emotional connection is, you're way ahead of the game with a man.

Now you've got to learn exactly how to put that advantage to use in your love life for good.

It’s time to learn to see things in a completely different way… which will lead to you becoming almost MAGNETICALLY ATTRACTIVE to men for more than just a fling. Really. Your emotions and your ability and power to connect are your own set of “pre-wired tools”. All you need to do is start using them the right way…

4. How to come across a Man as Unique?

Once you realize that men often date constantly, know lots of different women, and have had several past relationships that didn't go well for them either, you begin to realize that THEY MUST START TO SEE PATTERNS in the way women behave around them… just like the patterns you recognize with men.

Here's a great question for you…

What do you think the most common pattern is that men see in women?

If you haven't already guessed it, it's the pattern of a woman trying to CONVINCE a man to make more of the relationship and change or feel something that they can't “control.”

LOTS of women do this and don't even know it.

But here's the worst part---how men RESPOND.

When women take on “convincing” or pleading behaviors, there's a common, frustrating, and destructive male response - WITHDRAWAL.

Let me paint a brief picture for you of the pattern men see and fear in this situation…

In the guy's mind, the withdrawal scenario usually goes something like…

“Whoa! When did this turn from fun into a ton of work? Things have been great, but now it feels “different” because she's unsatisfied and pushing on me to define our relationship…”

“And I HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED what I want exactly, or what the heck it is that I'm feeling here…”

“And now that the easy chemistry and attraction we used to have has changed- I guess “the magic” is gone…”

“I guess I'll just skip all the trouble that I know from past experiences is about to come up and pull away.”

Well, guess what? Trying to convince a man to act a certain way or feel something with you is the best approach to use if you love spending all your nights alone cuddled up watching Oprah reruns in your PJs.

But seriously… If you recognize anything about these situations, then you know from experience that the more a man pulls away, the more you feel like you need to talk to him and show him what he's doing wrong that's driving you both apart.

And hey… I get it.

Men can sure be clueless idiots that actually do need help to notice the dumb things they're doing.

But unfortunately, here's where most women learn the WRONG LESSON about men… Because a man won't easily open up and stay connected, a woman will actually start trying to do all the communication and “work” for him. Sometimes women start to “fill in the blanks” and play “connect the dots” with all the past situations and conversations so that they can figure out exactly what's going on and why he's being totally unresponsive and withdrawn so they can fix it.

This hopeless strategy works for a few days or weeks, but only serves to make BOTH the man and the woman more frustrated in the long run.

There's a right way to go about it, and lots of wrong ways that will get you nowhere.

It's time to stop sending the signals and displaying behaviors that almost instantly bring up negative and predictable patterns men see and fear in women.

And yes, men could stand to grow up and deal with their own fears. But you can also help them and yourself out by learning the easily avoided male “triggers” and “buttons” that activate fears and issues most men have around women, love, and relationships.

It’s VITAL that you avoid these common “danger buttons” and to connect with a man in a way that naturally leads him to seek intimacy and sharing with you, instead of the isolation and withdrawal that other women have unknowingly encouraged in him.

5. Know what to EXPECT in Common Situations, and the Best ways of handling them.

First, most women had the same problems and situations with different men. Somehow, the same things that had limited or destroyed their previous situations kept coming back with the different guys they would date.

Secondly, most women just plain DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT in each situation with a man. They were caught off guard, frustrated, upset or shocked by both the things they had seen and dealt with before with other men and by other new, but also common, situations.

Lots of women get freaked out because they don't understand what's going on with several unfortunately common, immature, and predictable relationship behaviors men have. (Hint - lots of these behaviors are actually harmless displays of male “resistance” and withdrawal to deep connection and true intimacy, but they're only harmless IF a woman knows what these are and isn't freaked out by them)

It’s very important that you learn WHAT TO EXPECT… including the types of responses you're most likely to get in various situations, what's most likely to happen, the intentional and unintentional ways that a man will “test” you… and more.

You'll stay more comfortable, more assured, more confident, less stressed, happier, more positive… the list goes on, and so do the benefits to you and your relationship.

2008-07-12T23:04:00.002+08:00

http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/

this blog.
makes ppl tear...

the more you should cherish people ard you..
especially those who mean alot to you..
those you cant live without.
don let urself live wid regret...

thats the reason y ppl don mind waiting jus for an answer to be replied properly..

2008-06-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

oh my god, can u believe it??!

2008-06-25T13:05:00.002+08:00

gosh~
feel so tired recently.
ever since school starts, i've been trying to wake up early and reach school on time.

1st week i manage to go school everyday.
but i'm still late.
my best timing for last week is still 15 mins later than 830.
i reached at 845. -.-
but at least i felt great gng school all week.

BUT...
wad happen to 2nd wk??
is i think too much during the day or wad?
i keep having long dreams that i can't wake up,
just as if the dream is so exciting that i don wanna wake up!
Mon is like tat, today oso like that, i can't skip anymore le..
today shld b photography, and i already skipped 5 times, so 2day is the 6th times.
Oh My Tian..
better don't skip anymore le..
sigh~

ytd i came home, straight away slp le, too tired...
i almost missed my stop too..
i slpt all e way, except having a phone call and tts it.
e moment i got onto bus, i slpt.
lols.

today got piano later.
i nvr went lesson last sat, cuz i can't wake up..
so teacher was saying wanna play all 3 songs, omg..
i can't!
my 1st piece de 3 page still cannot play smoothly and not even slow!
only my 2nd and 3rd piece stil can make it..

prac a lil' aural just now,
only singing can, i can't identify e chords, omg..
die.
exam at sept.
now is gng 2 july.
july, august, sept!
abt 2 mths only!
and pp is also abt 2 mths!
siao!
argghhh!

2008-06-15T20:35:00.002+08:00

today, father's day.

did anything??....nope..

hmmm.
guilty.

but still wanna sae HAPPY FATHERS' DAY :)

alrite.
nxt thing.

about less than 12 hrs later, lesson will start again.
cant log into leo again...
even webmail, pp, bla bla bla, cant access.

saw some of my grades, disappointed.
should jiayou : /

bro at perth.
gng to start flying w/o trainer i heard..
must jiayou wor..
noe u stress..
i noe u will do well :)
pls don tink tt if u din do well (choy) then we will look down on you.
pls don tink tt way,
we're actually very proud of u already..
being a pilot is nt easy already.
nt every1 can hav a dream or a chance to pilot a plane.
u're e smartest in our family, we've always looked up to u.
so pls b confident of urself aite?
u can do it!

i tink i gonna slp early 2nite.
after mum n dad leave home bah...
hopefully abt 10 plus.. :)

gosh...

2008-06-14T21:27:00.002+08:00

pls forgive wad i've did.
forgive me for skipping lessons.
forgive me for bitching others.

Thanks others who bitch about me..
Thanks all people..

wanna noe the reason i said these..
watch here.

thanks everyone.

pls forgive me for my bad doings.

i will not use my family as an excuse to skip something.

i'm sorry and thank all.

Tong Look-alike Meter

2008-06-14T20:38:00.001+08:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

my celebrity look-alike

2008-06-14T20:21:00.000+08:00

恶作剧二吻

2008-06-13T22:40:00.004+08:00

i suddenly feel the urge to watch back 恶作剧二吻 de show.
whenever i watch this show, 1st to think of is HANNAH HAN.
hahas.

Have an urge is because i wanna give myself some laughter and walk myself thru finding happiness (:
xiangqin is so silly and stupid, always will make me laugh de! LOLs.
zhishu is always so cool, gives ppl an icy feel.

in this show, i always envy them a lot.
the things they do, the life they lead, the love for each other...
wad i like abt this show of xiangqin is that she act out wad and how a girl thinks when meet a cool guy like zhishu.

i watch till this part when zhishu is real busy, he was doing some research together wid prof for a lecture for his medical class.
and xiangqin was nt happy b'cuz zhishu refuse to go to register xiangqin's name together with the family "jiang".
so xiangqin anxious and wanted him to do it immediately, but he said "i'm busy".
when that following nite, zhishu called her to say he mite not be home till late nite, so ask her to slp first, don wait for him.

xiangqin went thinking, "you really nt willing to be married with me izzit."

"saw him being teased by me, wearing a bride's gown during our wedding, i thot i succeeded, can be tgt with you forever."

"is this wad normally tv dramas show - i can get u, but cant get ur heart."

"is he avioding me?? or...."

"i should brace myself up..."

thn she said...

"two ppl in a relationship, always one of them will be more initaitive than the other."

in this case i totally agree with how xiangqin thinks.
mayb guys will think " eh, why must you think so much?" or " why must you try to analyze how guy thinks?"

but cuz we think that we don't understand why is this happening thats y we always ask for assurance and explanation.
we do ask alot of qn so as to make ourselves feel more secured.

we don want u to leave us.
so sometimes this can turn to a strong feel of obsession.
sth like " u're mine" or "i want u to belong to only me".

woman tends to find excuse for man in order to comfort her own insecure and disappointment.
as long as this woman like this man, her mind will be full of him.
cant hate him even thou he's doing or saying things that upset u..
sometimes woman will wonder, does this man really mean what he say??
y do man always afraid of commitments?
woman will tink" am i that scary that u hav to aviod me?"

its like my mind is full of u, i cant do anything rite without u.
i wanna let u noe how important u are to me...
yet u're sort of avoiding me.
i dunu ur answers.
alll ur sms is so confusing,

is like u're saying u don want me anymore, u don need me.
but y u wanna reply yes whn i ask if u like me??
u said tink too much oso no use, ya rite,

but i cant help myself from guessing since u don tell me!
ppl always ask me, wa u can tahan if tis guy treats u like tt ar.
i'm like, ya i'm tahan-ing. but not for long i will burst,
y u wanna sae u feel good with me?
y do u wanna sae u can 4get ur troubles whn u're with me?
y do u wanna spend ur valentine with me...
don u miss me at all?
or u got another special fren other than me already??
do u noe i feel so insecure now?
if i really meant sth 2 u,

wont i be e 1st person and only person who will keep recurring in ur mind?

i'm gonna stop thinking so much...

" an empty mind is a devil's workshop" so right.

its nth..

everyone says u tink too much...

too much misunderstanding...

after a few mths should be fine (:

carry on.. hold it there..

2008-06-10T00:45:00.002+08:00

是你太忙了。
我无法怪你对我的疏忽。
只希望你能好好的跟我相处，
给我一个可以试着跟你相处的机会。
真想成为你的伴侣。

2008-06-09T14:19:00.002+08:00

不知道你最近在做些什么。
不知道我在你的心里算什么。
我问你是否喜欢我，你说是。
不过为什么你现在所做的一切却想在逃避我呢？
你害怕的是什么？
你想要的是什么？
站在你背后我连呼吸都痛～
我要相信你是爱我的。
我要相信你是勇敢的。
我烦世界是最残酷的。
我怎么等～
我要相信你是爱我的，
不要当我每次长情歌，
眼里忠有太多泪不停拉扯。

你怀里有太多问号
告诉我怎么依靠

我要相信你是爱我的，
不要当我每次长情歌，
眼里忠有太多泪不停拉扯。

我不是你的傀儡，
绘制则来去的人，我不想当。

很想了解你的想法，
但你又不要说。
你叫我怎么办呢？
我需要你的肯定。
我尽量的不要烦你。
尽量让你多休息。
不过你根本都没想到我，对吗？

2008-06-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.

You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.

You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.

In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

2008-06-08T19:46:00.004+08:00

ok i'm finally blogging again.

dunu wanna sae i'm busy or i'm lazy..

1st wk of holiday went to band camp.

details, aiya alot of them already blog it out.

main points:

songlin snore damn loud.

eugene oso snore loud.

agora hall damn cold.

water damn cold in sports complex.

damn nt enough slp.

body ache.

loads of hard core games and band prac.

better bondings.

happy happy.

i'm MR RPWS 08.

i believe all of us slpt quite long after camp.

i oso slpt abt 19 hrs.

woke up at sat 12 pm hahhas.

went for youth band today.

played some pieces.

gonna play for rasull concert on sept.

oso gonna play for PRSS viva la musica V.

it will b my 2nd time guest play for their band.

concert on 11 july.

attending their prac tmr.

24 july competition.

GLORIOSA.

gonna hav loads of piano lesson.

starting workout on wed!

hmm.

2008-05-31T21:07:00.002+08:00

these few days..

weather forecast quite soothing.

but its only very nice whn u're alone=)

spent tis few weeks on slacking at home.

band prac. sectionals. late for piano class. watch shows.

wad else..

ah..

of cuz missing everyone tt could be missed.

sister, bro, hannah, my skss band mates.

yup.

i missed them

was thinking their korea trip is on which date.

and i jus realize if they were to go on NOV, i jus start my school after break since 2nd sem.

hopefully its only 1week and hopefully don have UT. -.-

recently discussed with a friend abt oversea studies.

yea.

i haven decide on which school.

i'm sort of blur with the administration stuff.

ya, i'm an idiot abt it.

Royal Academy of Music LONDON

Royal Irish Academy of Music

University of Vienna

Royal College of Music LONDON

Trinity College LONDON

hmm.

uni of vienna must learn German, and e admission for international students nvr state.

Degree: Music Science

?? wadz tt..

the other uni.s quite standard.

Music (performing)

just need to pass audition.

+ grade 8 practical and theory

As for my academy results here. not so sure about it.

I guess have to take national english test.

and score or a certain mark, then will i able to prove my language skills in sufficient there.

If i were to go UK, london.

Most likely my sister would join me, since she finish her uni by tt time at NZ.

Anyway, i'm still confuse abt uni of vienna.

thou its still quite early to make decision.

But i still want to give some thot to it.

Hopefully will pass with merit for sept exam, then do not hav 2 retake.

So far, all the 3 pieces, my last piece is almost done-jus need some polishing.

my 2nd piece needs loads of polishing. my hands are still tt stiff.

the worse is e 1st piece. i still haven settle e 3rd page of it. 1st and 2nd page needs loads of polishing too.

In all, the pieces are emotionless. so i need to work hard on that. the tone and touch somewhat improve whn i don think so much and deep abt it.

the worst is .....

scales and arpeggios.

for now. CMI.

major.minor.harmonic.melodic.*done

3rd apart*done

6th apart`not done

in thirds`not done

Chromatic 3rd apart`not done

chromatic minor third`not done

arpeggios root,1st and 2nd inversion`not done

arpeggios dominant 7th`not done

arpeggios diminished 7th`not done

all of it. the worst is chormatic(s) and arpeggios.

now till exam. is about 2 months!! die.

die.die.die.die.

tis june holidays.thou only 2 weeks.

hopefully i can settle the 2nd piece and 1st piece at least.

e rest of the 1 month its drilling of scales.argeggios.aural

sight reading should be passable for me.

thou i cock up sometimes.

i shall keep my word and do prac.

tmr morning??

monday 930am got class.

tue-fri will have band camp.

sat will hav class again. 1pm

for 2 weeks it will remain.

till school reopens.

2008-05-12T08:30:00.001+08:00

SABO-ED by JOYCE_Limin

RULES: Remove one question from below and add one of your question make it a total of 20 qns, then sabo 8 ppl

1) where would you like to go for your honeymoon?

Tour around Europe!

2) what do you want the most now?

Get all my certificates done!

3) who is the person you trust most?

my dearest frens, my sisters, n some human on earth

4) who do you think in mind now?

some human on earth=)

5) if you have a dream to come true, wad is it?

i wanna become a professional re known performer, musician!

6) Wad is your goal for this yr?

get my grade 8 prac done, well!

7) do u believe in eternity love?

of course ^^

8) have you ever broke a person's heart that he/she wanna commit suicide?

yes i broke a person's heart, but nvr wanna commit suicide,

who's so stupid?

9) wad kinda feelings of you like most?

whn off 2 dreamland tgt wid ur love>.<

10) wad are the requirements from ur other half?

hav a space for me in his heart,

so no matter wad he'll hav me in his mind>.<

11) wad kinda feelings you hate most?

make loads of noise whn i'm prac piano,

make loads of noise whn i'm soundly aslp!!

12) do you cherish every friendship of yours?

of cuz i do,

but sometimes some friendship are not worth to cherish..

13) is there any1 you can't live without?

yes, some human on earth =)

14) wad's e most important thing in ur life?

music, without it i'm nothing,

it kept me alive till now and death

15) who do u hope to be there for u always?

some human on earth,

true frens and family will always be there for you=)

16) who are important to you?

my loved ones^^

17) who cares for u the most?

my family n frens.

18) do u believe in rainbow after rain?

of cuz, i've seen loads of gorgeous ones!

19) do u think fate control you or u control fate?

if u let fate control u, u're a loser

20) wad is love to you?

an essential part of my present life tat makes it colorful^^

Lastly...

needa sabo ppl...

hiahiahia..

1)girlfren_hannah han

2)buddy_wayne tan weiwei

3)girlfren_ qi

4)girlfren_phylis

5)diva wannabe_khim

6)caring_shiqi

7)siaozhabo_lizaan

8) laughy_keryn

happy mothers' day!

2008-05-11T19:39:00.004+08:00

ok ya...today is mothers day..

so far only 1 person 4got abt it...

my mum..

she 4got today is her day...

hahhas

so i bake a cake for her...

tgt wid my maid's help nah...

its a strawberry cheese cake...

heehees..

the crust of the cheesecake,

made with RITZ biscuit

mixture of cheese,flour,eggs,sugar,vanilla essence,sour cream

onto the crust

ready for bake at the oven..

after 45mins of 165°c

here comes the cheese cake^^

next is the toppings,

strawberry cheesecake of cuz muz hav strawberry taste,

topped with strawberry jam ;D

TA DA!

topped with fresh strawberries!

Results:

Nice!

not i say de, my family say de..=)

Wish all mothers happy mothers day!

2008-05-10T15:50:00.002+08:00

now i finally know why my email add suites me so much...

cuz problems are nvr ending...-.-

they always come in a big bunch and make you think like crazy..

thn after tt you feel you're not happy, so you will try to tell yourself

"aiya, so sad for wad, be happy is a better choice, and face e problem slowly norh"

always like that..

when you see something tt makes your emotions evoke...

be it angry sad jealousy... bla bla bla,

you always turn to yourself and say

"nah, i will 4get it in a few days time, no point make myself suffer=)"

hmmm...

quite random norh..

i oso dunu wad i doing nah...

today gotta prepare strawberry cheese cake for mum..

should cam whore abit, post it tmr...

wahhahas..

i go prac piano le...

improving bit by bit....

hais jiayou bah...

relax

2008-05-07T18:16:00.003+08:00

i should really try 2 relax...

i din go for piano lesson today

partly cuz no time already, reach there plus another 30mins thn lesson will end
so no point oso

i emailed my teacher telling her e reason y i'm missing these 2 weeks of lesson
and i sms her 2 inform her i cant come n tell her abt e email

so she called me..
ask me 'why? wad happen?'
so my tears begin again...
i told her i'm tired...
and i din improve much...
i got prac, but hard 2 find time wid my schedule..

she said, slowly..
'you must prac the notes and rhythm correctly and fluently with both hands first'
'these already need some time, cuz there're always some parts where more prac is needed'
after can play fluently then will come in the feel everything...go into detail...

i'm glad she said these to me..
and i've 2 weeks more 2 prac...
this week and nxt week...

thank you.....

oso muz thank my sis-april, and my fren shiqi for concerning and consoling me..
i guess i'm tired...=)
ya, i need to relax and i need to rest...
till i rest enough then i will recover mentally and physically i guess

the current me, sitting infront of a screen,
i think i'm damn pathetic..
not enough slp, not enough rest...
cant do anything at all...
except blindly to try and get the feel while prac piano..

relax....
relax...
relax...
guess i'm jus too tense up.

=.=

2008-05-07T13:07:00.002+08:00

uuhh..
couldnt wake up today..
woke up 2 pee at 4am..
thn continue to slp.
e next moment i woke up, its already 10.10am

eyes were alil' swollen..

skip school today..again
i skipped art critic and photography 3 times already...
its not tt i don like photography class.
but it happens 2 on a wed whn i'm always so worried abt piano lessons later.

i prac my piano...
i tried 2 feel the music...
i din look at e score..
but i still cant..
why...
why...
why...

I.. ....hais...

dunu wad 2 sae...

still got a few hrs b4 i should prepare 2 go lesson...

how i wish it's still morning...

depress

2008-05-06T23:25:00.004+08:00

i cried...

all the way from i sat down in e bus..

till i got alight..

i continued whn i got home after start replying a fren's abt how i felt.

好痛苦

i felt so lost..

i dunu any direction..

WHY!!

why do i play e piano for??

i play now is for e sake of taking the exam in sept.

whereby my teacher see tat i would fail...

she see it coming...

i wanna feel it!

i wanna feel e beauty of piano..

i wanna feel e beauty of music...

how shld i continue?

i cant play it well, cant get e feel..

i msn-ed wid my fren, e same one, as well as cpt yusri..

i feel these 2 ppl could help me...

my fren said "once you take music seriously, you 4get all e simple pleasure you once had"

i wanna tke it seriously..

i respect it..

respect my love for it.

but somehow i 4got wad is e pleasure i got from playing piano..

i said i dunu wad is gd music perhaps.

i dunu how 2 diff gd tone n bad tone on piano.

my touch is wrong

my feel is wrong

wrong wrong and wrong...

i asked will listening to bad music "de-prove" yourself,

i was answered " you hav 2 learn to live in this environment where not every1 is as gd"

also, mayb i hav 2 get e idea 2 myself tt nt everywhere i can b as gd..

i jus hav 2 try 2 be gd or better.

no need 2 force myself.

i seriously don wanna fail this exam..

i hav nvr failed ABRSM exam b4.

[calm down]

my natural tap from my eyes hav nvr stop since i start e msg 2 my fren till now..

it lasted for an hr plus...

i guess i ran out of tears..

really tired..

this kinda feeling of lost...

no1 can understand...

i guess i'll jus try my best..

nitez loves..

alil' bit of idea

2008-05-04T03:48:00.008+08:00

after watching some episodes of Nodame Cantabile, i got something new again.

Previously i watch it, i gain more passion for piano...

Now i watch it. i gain a little something more...

this something is called the gd ears.

i need to have these gd ears in order to enjoy my music.

i need to expect more of the music my ears are going to listen...

there will soon be no more "acceptable", "so-so", "ok lah"

there will be only nice, beautiful, pleasant music...

i'm the one who chooses the music that i want to listen, and i shall filter out wad is unessential to my ears...

although my band is very young, i hav 2 tolerate it and forgive, but that doesnt giv it an excuse to filter out bad music too...correct?? yea...

besides having gd ears...

i oso think the feel is very important.

of cuz 1st and foremost you have to know your notes b4 any other steps is taken..

after knowing the notes the 2nd thing is the feel...

composers may forget to write down dynamics oso...

they play as they feel and feel as they play...

you don feel the piece is trying to convey, you're jus playing piano...

jus like singing...

you know the words,

but if you dunu the feel that you wanna express...

or you never express the feel,

you're jus merely singing...

which waste your melodious voice...

so if i neglect the feel of the piece,

i'm wasting the melodious, full, fat tone that my piano can produce...

i admit that was really a good piano

but i still think i'm wasting it...

many ppl ask me not 2 b sad, don emo...bla bla bla...

u all don understand...

if i wanna go overseas study,

this is e min. i shld expect myself 2 think abt it...

i don wanna go there aiya jus tke a degree thn 4get it...

i want ppl there 2 remember me, this small girl who travelled all e way from singapore to learn there and she's great...

jus by knowing how 2 play those instruments is nth....

by play them wid understanding is a different thing...

b'cuz besides these, i dunu anything at all, i've no skill..

tts y i always say 'being a professional is wad i want, wad i've always dream of, and i want it 2 come true'

lost.

2008-05-01T22:51:00.005+08:00

i really feel very lost.

seems like my motivation lost its way.

do not know which direction am i heading towards.

too many areas to concentrate.

studies. modules. test. band. competition. Gloriosa. piano. grade8. .....

i really feel heavy on me..

i'm gd at nothing.

of so many concentrations i must have, i'm good at nothing.

my grades in school are nothing compared to others.

my tests are nothing compared to others.

my skills of flute in band is nothing compared to others.

i do not want to have competition. it always nervous me.

my piano skills are nothing compared to others.

what more to say about grade 8 exam.

i've once said i would go overseas to study music, my passion since childhood.

now i'm thinking i'm not really gd at it.

but without it i'm useless. worthless.

i lost my motivation in piano.

i find it no meaning to have this exam, that's the reason why i always skip my lessons and find excuses. wasting the money and efforts of my parents.

my techniques are no good.

but someone said, focus no techniques but feel...

i wonder if that will work..

someone asked why do you play the piano for?

i wonder..

i still haven find the answer...

help me..

dai yan ren

2008-04-05T00:32:00.001+08:00

missed one lesson...

sobs...

i wanna learn it all....

hahhas. =)

2008-03-26T23:04:00.003+08:00

long time no update.

quite some things happened..

my one and only hamster died on a good friday morning...

god bless my hamham....

may it stay in heaven well,befriend angels, and give its blessing to me and my close ones.

mum's b'dae jus over on mon...24 mar...

shhh...mum's age is secret....hahhas=)

sis b'dae coming soon...

but she at NZ...

i stop work for quite sometime already...

cant commit...

tired of working...

by right i'm suppose to prac my piano and flute on routine..

but i did not do so...

am slacking right now...

i skip piano class 4 two wks already...

i feel that i'm not ready to face my teacher as she expect me prac well and hard enough...

i have not been prac my solo too...perhaps i'm over confident abt myself...

thinking that by that day i'll be jus fine...

but seems that i'm wrong...

prac makes perfects is true...

i have not been believing it strong enough....

laziness always kills me...

start working towards the goal....

no more time left...

think abt it..

dieting..

2008-03-09T17:12:00.002+08:00

i cant believe wad i'm doing jus now and wad i do now...

i'm dieting!

i slept for 14 plus hrs since ytd..

e moment i woke up, i find abt fruit juice dieting...

after i found enough of wad i want...

i went 2 e fruit basket and ate a green apple...

ppl who noe me will noe tt i don eat veggie and eat very little fruits,drink a little bit of water...

but here i am, eating fruits, drinking lots of water..

i hav to avoid all red meat...

so i ate fish only..

BUT! but but but...

i'm eating Chipster, e hot & spicy one, right now...

gosh...

i tink i shld control e intake of chips oso...

i tink at most 1 wk 1 packet, no more than tt...normally i ate more than tt lah...

more veggie from now on...

no red meat,

more fish

more bean curd food,

more water,

more fruits!!

mayb i try 2 walk faster whn i go anywhere...then i'm considered exercising..

hahhahas...

i look at e dieting pages...

they said sth so true!

whn u eat alot unhealthily, u're not feeding ur body..

but ur angry and lonely souls...

i oso eat alot of unhealthy things whn i'm lonely...cuz i cant find anything else 2 do besides to eat and slp, sometimes la...

hahhahs..

so i'm gng find myself shows 2 watch,sth 2 do...

still cant touch my pay yet, so i'm bankrupt now...hahahss..

cuz my atm went overseas...and i 4got tke money from him...

he's my dad la...hahhahs...

opps, ahhahs, i'm a bad girl, so sorry XD

ciaos

2008-02-29T23:51:00.003+08:00

aaiiiizzzz..
really problmatic nah...
so many stuff to do...
nvr even hav time to jot down my feelings...
aiyoyo...

basically i'm gng to quit 2 wks later from now...
which means 17 mar will be my last day of work...
finally nah...
it's damn tiring...
1st time i got a part-time with so much work load...
and still hav 2 face some stupid adult who cant even do a teenage work..
35 already still so stupid...still think u're e best...

c'mon, u do things so slow, do wrongly, lazy, hao lian...
wad else are u??
1 day dunu go toilet how many times...relax relax meh...
boss cannot relax,how can u??
things we're not interested, don tell us..
don flaunt ur idiot desktop,
don flaunt ur crazy results of 'o' & 'A' levels,
all these i don need 2 noe,
don wanna noe
and not interested to noe lah...
get lost man!

wad eva nah...
this type of ppl, not worth my time 2 be irritated abt...

woooooo hoooooooosss~
wooosssaahhhh~

the worst thing came...
my piano, haven prac,
flute solo, haven prac,
theory,nvr do properly,
gosh...wad am i doing recently??

seriously i tink i shld gif up some things..
jus tt i can bare to...
she bu de norh...
but cuz tt wasn't my main aim...
my initial thinking of learning that was 2 be all rounded in music...
at least i noe some of other kinds of music oso, not only band music...
i don wanna continue...
i don really feel happy there...
thou i used to feel happy...hahhahs.
but i cant find tt happy part whn i'm there, not anymore now...
so i've decided to quit after first few performance...see situation...
so currently, silly silly continue 1st bah...

i need confidence for grade 8...
cheong arZ!
i believe i can do it...
as long as i believe and prac hard=)
jia you tgt wid flute bah!!!

wooooossahhh...
done!
buai =.=

2008-02-21T00:44:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

i'm wondering shld i quit my job anot...

my time too squeezy already...

i need 2 breathe...

by right i work till 10 april, but i requested 31 mar, but now tinking of the workload everyday...

i'm tired...

exhausted...

zombied...

i'm late 4 work everyday..

don wanna wake up...

all e invoices, po.s, bla bla bla...

1 thing mess up, the whole thing mess up...and i will sae "i win lottery liao..."

hais...

or shld i quit abt 21 mar, so i can get my pay faster?

hao bah,go slp le...

tmr sure late...haiz...

2008-02-18T01:01:00.002+08:00

i've jus re-recorded super no.1, pls do gif comments if u hear it=)

haiyo...later work again...

monday sure got alot of stuff 2 do le...

after photocopying those invoices, i bet nancy is gng 2 ask me 2 write them on our invoice book...

-.-

but lucky i still hav time 2 relax..hahhas...

wonder wads 4 lunch later...

my lunch is free de wor...kitchen cook 4 the hotel workers...

hahhahs...

no idea wad i'm talking about???

i'm working in st Regis hotel as temp data entry, but sometimes oso do purchasing officer work...

i tink i'm suppose 2 b in HR de la...

but purchasing dept need ppl thn transfer me over...

sobs...

the only gd thing is, in purchasing dept, every1 will noe u...every chef will noe u and need u=) hahhas..

chef kit, chef fredrick, chef edward, chef...bla bla bla...

hahhahs

recently i feel restricted nah...

dad is checking my every move...

hais...

so i hav 2 lie low...

4get it la...after i start skul, sure no prob again de la...

he cant sae anything oso...

i've decided...

my aim...

Royal Academy of Music, uk, london!!!

here i come!

its undergraduate studies for woodwind i've chosen...

may need a related or secondary study, which is either piccolo or piano...

guess it shld b piano bah...

anyways, will consider again de la...

go slp le...

cha neh!

2008-02-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

i really have to say this out..

nt tt i wanna inform only 6 hrs b4...

but its tt i had a family problem few hrs b4...

tts e real reason i hav 2 4get about coming...

i slp at 3am and woke up at 8am...jus b'cuz i feel guilty 2 treat u all this way...

but do u wish every1 to know that i hav a family prob and come asking me about wad happen??

thn if tts e case, i would really leave..

it shouldn't b a place where stress exist..

it's suppose 4 me 2 feel more relax..

even thou it's true tt i can't commit, so wad?

did any1 even appreciate wad we did, or even having e whole nite cracking ur brains jus 2 do finish wad u're told 2?

i said i had sth on at home tt morning, cuz i noe 家丑不可外洋。

4get it..

i'm tired for e day...

1st day of work, OT for 1 hr 15 mins...

tired...

my brains are tired...

i jus hope there's some understanding on e matter, and not jus comment based on wad u noe..

if not, wad is there 2 unite about, whn there's no understanding??

2008-02-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

i really dunu wad 2 do...

there's nth i can do 2 help except 2 remind about the tri love..

yes, ppl can giv me loads of advices of how 2 handle it, in order to minimize hurt...

but it's not for me 2 decide how long it's gng 2 go...

every relationship is a risk...

you will nvr noe how it will go, or how it will end..

you can only choose to believe in yourself and him, or choose to slack the relationship away...

i choose to believe....

even thou ppl ask me 2 tink properly, don sink inside too deep...

but if i don sink in deep, how would i noe/prove myself i really love that person?

wad is there to tink properly??

if love can be thought properly, then it isn't love, rite?

i noe 长痛不如短痛..

but i really can't control whn it will stop...

actually, to be honest, 我满辛苦的...

is that i hav 2 face ppl's comments abt it...

i noe it's care and concern from frens, i really appreciate it...

but sometimes you jus want a listening ear,period.

i really don wanna hurt her...

but wad can i do???

wad i'm doing now is already hurting her...

is just that she's in e dark...

i really can't imagine e hurt she will get..

and she will have tis thinking that her outcome is ruin b'cuz of me...my existence..

but but but....

if don end it fast then, it will be more troublesome later on...

if you don like her le or love her, then wad is there 2 stay on about???

i noe i'm being bad by saying these...

and i've said it before to someone else, which i already totally get over already..

that's y...

我知道这样不好

也知道你的爱只能那么少

我只有不停的要要到你想逃

泪湿的枕头晒干就好

眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹

以为在你身后

是我一辈子的骄傲

原来你什么都不想要

我不要你的呵护，你的玫瑰

只要你好好久久爱我一遍

就算虚荣也好，贪心也好

那个女人对爱不自私，不奢望

我不要你的承诺不要你的永远

只要你真真切切爱我一遍

就算虚荣也好，贪心也好

最怕你把沉默当做对我的回答

2008-01-31T11:32:00.000+08:00

finally... went to school today...

as usual, late....

still thinking about wad i wanna do & manage for holiday..

should i work?

i really wanna work...cuz next time i don hav much time to work in office..

then piano how??

i still will practice..mayb not totally concentrated...

but i will still practice...

i still have my weekends and weekdays' nite to practice...

even thou every tue and thurs hav band prac..

but i believe i can manage...

approx...

mon 8.30- 5.30 ....work

tue 8.30-5.30....work

after work - 9pm...RPWS

wed 8.30-5.30....work

6.15-7.30...piano practical + theory

thurs 8.30-5.30...work

after work-7pm....RPWS

8pm-10pm....SWS

fri 8.30-5.30....work

but my teacher still thinks that i don't have time to practice my piano...

she tinks i shld really concentrate & prac more since it's a holiday...

but imagine i nvr work,so bored...

rot at home meh??

gosh...

shirley tong!!! stop being late, can????!!!!

hate you ar..

2008-01-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

shit...i pon 3 days...letter is on e way...

die...

hate skul...

hate vb...

love holidays!!!

waiting 4 call...phone interview...

nervous..anxious...

scouting for band members....

ppl who put RP as one of ur choice, and you're a band member, wanna continue band, pls tell me....

2008-01-28T18:41:00.000+08:00

recently i went to De coder's cafe,somewhere near newton MRT.

it's a special cafe, got loads of games to play, it's at Balmoral Plaza.

this cafe is opened by my maths faci.

There's about 200 board games to play norh...

some of the games you have never seen before, so i think it's interesting.

the place is is very cosy, it's good for friends to gather together for meetings..

the cafe don't charge for playing the board games.

All the money will be spend for food.

so if you have a meal over there, you'll get to play for 2-3 hrs free.

everyone can be a member there, and you'll get 10% discount on the spot.

if you wanna know more, go to www.decoderscafe.com

some pictures of the cafe =)

last UT of sem2yr1

2008-01-24T09:44:00.000+08:00

today...last UT of yr1sem2...enterprise skills II

BUT!!!!!

i almost missed it....

reached class at 915...just 1 more min and i will not be able to take that stupid UT at all...

and...stupid parallels of vista in my mac...so slow!!!! have to take to IT helpdesk and ask for help, make it faster.

then, i hav to do on paper.. believe it or not i manage to secure only about 5-6 marks out of 30..

which is an E i guess... gosh...

if i wanna blame someone i guess, i will blame my sis and myself...

why she have to wake up late?? and bathe late?? then i thot she normally bathe at the other side, why my side??

i have test leh...

i tink i'm failing le lah...

fcuk!

arghhhH!!!!!

it's all my fault, should hav tke tt stupid cab to woodlands straight away instead of bishan...

i should hav woke up earlier...actually can de... jus that i 4got to pack finish my bag...so it took sometime...

wad eva la!

heck le norh...

now everyday hav to come to tke stupid grades cannot skip anymore..cannot pon class, pon skul..

hais...

i only manage to pass my cognitive and maths..which is just pass only...

thn culture,enterprise and science is abit risky...might fail..it's conditional pass..

among those 3, the ranking from worst the the worse..is....

culture-enterprise-science..

so i tink i can save my science...but cant save my culture..unless really got miracle norh..

hopefully, work is coming on the way..

back to class....

2008-01-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

i jus realize sth...

i lost motivation in learning theory...

or should i say since the beginning i don really lyk theory...

gosh...damn hungry...

no food..

hse no food...

hais...

today i nvr go theory class...

i'm so late that i tink by e time i reach it has already end...

so thats y i don like to live in the central...

go everywhere oso far...

irritating leh

thn hor..

every time kor kor come back during weekends,

i jus hav tis feeling there's no place for me...

so i every sat and sun will slp at the sofa if i watch show till very late..

aiyoo....

can my sisters faster get married?????

ahhahas...

but seems like no1 has boyfren yet...=.=

jus now whn i was bathing...i thot of sth...

if i married off le hor...in future la..

thn i will link my kids room to the toilet...hahahahs...

thn every one can use the toilet...so near...hahahhas..

siao..

tink too much...

hmmmm...tot of recording "beautiful love" .tanya de..

since i'm suppose 2 learn that now...

thn prac my pieces, review some oversea universities...

look at grade 8 flute pieces and....

watch show!!!!

2008-01-18T11:28:00.001+08:00

i feel like gng home....

i don wanna stay in class...

i dunu how 2 do VB...

hate VB...

i don want computing anymore...

i feel useless in class now...

only get ppt from frens, see ppl's blog, count my GPA, listening to Rhapsody for flute de recording

and....

nothing else.... T.T

but if i go home thn e grades will really b bad...

but i tink i only can get a C for today...

b'cuz it's obvious i din do work at all, i jus came here slack and take the grade for attending class....=.=

i wanna go home...

at least i still can play my piano, prac flute, record song, watch video, and slp!

later still need to go collect my phone...

it's done...

so i have 2 go 2 redhill AGAIn.....

sians...

i tink i will leave class at 3 plus, or rather , rite after presentation...

since there's no more UT for maths&computing, so i can jus no need listen...

1st feb he better let us off earlier...or else i will kill him....!!!

i'm so lag abt e news of my fren...

getting married...

i tink she's pregnant..heard so...

thou i still hav tt impression tt she still don like some of us, mayb she tinks we're childish...

but...

i still wish her happiness with her fiance...

no matter wad, as her fren i still hope she gets wad she wants in her life..

my fren ytd midnight msg me...said was feeling moody, down...

so sorry i din reply and be there...was aslp...=.=

gomenasai!

faci jus walk pass...saw me blogging..hahahs..its ok la...

sigh...

mayb i will walk off b4 presenting??hahahs..

now i tink abt my band de stuff le...

i need to plan their scores....

i heard she's playing among the last yrs...

actually i don want her 2 play la...as in i don really need her la..

even thou 4 rhapsody for flute got 4 parts, i need only 3 of them mayb enough already mah...

unless she helps wid 2nd flute properly and correctly thn okay norh...

b'cuz it's my solo...so u muz understand i don wish for unneccessary damage or spoiler for my solo piece..

it may b the first and may b the last...

such chance don come so easily...

clarinet got them i okay already...they're quite gd players...

if someone's has brandon's sound then can already...

brandon is from my sec school band...he has alot of passion and love towards his instrument...

i like his sound....jus that his instrument is not good enough and he's not daring enough...

i'm blogging these not b'cuz i wanna bad mouth abt other ppl or don like them...

i'm blogging these for my own sake...

i wanna let myself noe wad kinda expectations i had 4 myself...

i always wonder y other ppl's flute section can b coach till so gd...

yet my own...always at this standard...

or am i e 1 who kept them at this standard, don allow them to improve or my coaching is not good enough??

i really wanna do my best for this april concert...

even thou i'm oso preparing for comWorks' 08 for SWS..

i seriously need flute coaching...

mayb after advance singing end and after dancing ends??that will be abt april le bah...mayb last min polishing will do me good??

cuz now i can't even get the notes rite...wad abt e feel??

hais...

i tink i hav a rough idea wad i wanna do abt it already la...

missed 2 sci UTs

2008-01-17T11:50:00.000+08:00

hais...

freaking mad...

it's all because that stupid bus driver of 902 that i missed my UT!

i already missed it once..

plus this time, i already got 2 X at science UT!!!!!!

i tink i definitely will do badly for SEM2 liao l0r....

4get it...

i jus try 2 get better grades for the daily grade.

and....while i'm blogging,

sidek jus said " i got an appointment with the toilet bowl!"

waahhahahhahsh...

ok, i'm feeling better. =)

do work bah.

opps...sidek appointment cancelled!!!! hahahahs.

i'm gng back to work...

oso watch my show..!!! woohoo!

some thots

2008-01-14T21:27:00.000+08:00

just some thots i got from a phone call...

i jus realize some ppl may need e extra assurance from you..

but you tink it's unnecessary as you have assured them before..

as in not that necessary, since you already said it before..

To that some people it may be a little bit of concern + secure for them..

everyone's idea of "a little bit of concern" is different...

to you it may be |___| tis little bit...

but to them it may be |_______| tis little bit of concern...

to you, you will do wad is the most important thing that comes by,

but to them, may be they do wad they focus on...

some people have many things to do...

some people have so little thing to do that they can only focus on you...

and they thot you shld do the same, put a focus on them..

to them it's just a little attention, a little focus, a little bit to you...

but to you it is not a little bit...you can't afford a little bit...

you don't have little bit...ur focus cant be on a person..but a general thing..e.g. career, studies, interest..your future......

no wonder there's a need for communication to exist...

and not every1 can get A1 for that..i guess no1 will..unless you really communicate..

today's culture module:no big deal...

hahahs...

wad a coincidence ..

wad may seem a big deal to you, may not be a big deal for others...

every1 is selfish...

except Mother Theresa..from wad i noe la..

Parents are selfish, they ask you to do wad they think is right, and do you good..but nvr ask you whether you tink is rite or do you good..

You yourself , selfish too...at least you do care a bit about ur own welfare..your benefits..

BGR, selfish....one only tink about himself/herself..claims to tink for you..but the idea of all things came from yourself thinking about your welfare of yourself.

even babies are selfish..wants all the attention they could get from you...

BUT, they're ignorant, innocent...=)

hmmmmm..

i thot of this for quite sometime...

a bit tired...

e more i tink of it, e more tired i become...

well...

it's my thots..

MINE!

lols..i'm selfish too, i guess ;p

2008-01-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

quite some i nvr blog le..

abit too involve in my stuff le bah..

somethings are just too hard to face it up..

it makes ur head wanna bang the wall and make it bleed..

but that will never happen unless i'm really crazy...

i din go school today..

really don feel lyk gng today...

cuz today got piano, so i jus wanna rest enough...

its not b'cuz i went home late ytd...

but cuz i hav too much stuff 2 handle, making my brain think too much...

i want school to end earlier... yet i'm still quite concern abt getting better grades.

hmmm...there're quite alot of things i wanna do...

i wanna find a job...soon...

i wanna learn dance from chris...

i wanna record girl duets using both my voice..

i wanna record more songs..

i wanna prac my rhapsody for flute solo piece

i wanna prac my grade 8 piano pieces..

i wanna get good grades...

i wanna meet up with some of my friends..

soo many things....

it's been some time since i self reflect..

i'm still contradicting myself on and off..

i dunu wad i want..

i everything oso dunu... is this lazy or avoiding??

i tink i last time use 2 make quite some decisions.

but just dunu y i'm lyk this now..

tmr will hav sws prac again...preparing for com works 2008 primary school de i tink..

its for syf primary school, it's around march..

thn there should be another symphonic sound's 08..mayb..

mayb there will be another Beautiful Sunday concert around july i guess??

still unsure...

ok la...get back to my recording before i revise UT later..

gotta go..

2007-12-13T02:52:00.000+08:00

i jus feel like blogging now....

hav some thots that i wanna put it out...

perhaps now i'm in a dreamland where everything is still innocent, naive.

No worries...

so if someone tells me to wake up, this is wad i'm aiming to do...

i wanna get gd grades, i wanna b so passionate abt music like i always do,

i wanna sing the best using my desired voice, i wanna go oversea to study,

i wanna be a professional musician, to perform around the world...

these are wad i really wanna do.

i still young, i hav time that i want...

i suddenly feel that i'm that type of person who don wish to tink too much abt a problem..

or mayb it's called running away from the problem..

but i tink it's cuz i tink, if u tink too much oso wont help u, only makes u more confuse, frustrated,pissed off.. so wad for u tink so much...brain is yours, u can control it.

ok stop...

i wanna shut up...

enough of today and everything..

move on girl!

wad's e use of staying if e outcome is predicted to be e same????

btw every1 is hanging out tgt, regardless of gender..

ok~ enough is enough...

stop it, shirley tong!!!!

2007-12-12T17:32:00.000+08:00

我不想这样
但我不能改变事实
这么办

变成这样，我比任何人都不希望
这会发生在我们的身上。
只想做我喜欢的东西，
不想妨碍任何人

只想走自己的路
有谁会了解我的心，
我的感受
没人懂
教教我该这么做

我的心
要这样才能平静下来
要这样才做出决定
俩个人才会幸福。

creating lyrics...
bit bad rite? will continue again..
the comp here too lag liao la... =.=